May 3, 2021

My dearest,

You went to Big C today to get groceries. Back when we first lived in Bangkok, it was Gourmet Market that we’d go to but you’ve found new places to get your peanut butter and your shirataki noodles.

These are fresh adventures for you as you navigate strange aisles. The tinned fruits aren’t where the canned tomatoes and beans are, you tell me. Everything is a discovery.

I wish I were there, to join you on your groceries runs, to help you push the shopping trolley, to take the items that are on the highest shelves, to carry the heavy bags full of goodies back home.

I wish I had listened to you and taken it slower when we went out for groceries before. I wish I hadn’t made a list and stuck to it, checking off one item after another like tiny victories.

A bigger victory would have been to be by your side as you slowly roamed the aisles, finding awe and splendour where the rest of us only see packaged goods and dusty glass bottles.

But I won’t waste time on such wishes because they are merely another name for regret and I regret nothing.

For I know the next time we get to shop for groceries together, when you are back from Bangkok or when I get to visit, we will take our time.

We will go on a supermarket date. We will roam the aisles together and find awe and splendour together.

Yours, ever and always.